To My Children- This Is Why I Want You To Love You More - BY Erica Cote for MotherHustle
“Loving yourself teaches you how to love and how to show others the way you want to be loved. If you don’t start there, then the circuit is likely to break because you are the missing link.”

One day my son told me he loved me the most in the world. And I told him that I wanted him to love himself the most. Because you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else.

So, as children like to repeat back at random times to let you know they’re listening, one day he apologized to me because he loved me, but he loved himself more.

And I couldn’t have been more proud.

Too often we look for validation and solutions in the words and actions of others. And love is the ultimate hiding place when the world gets too tough. But what happens when life happens?

Relationships don’t work out. Loved ones pass away. Friendships go through growing pains. And as these things happen, we all fight to maintain that part of ourselves that we opened up to the vulnerability of connecting with another. Because connection absolutely requires vulnerability.

But when we endure loss, we must not lose ourselves permanently in the process.

This is why self-love is our anchor to ourselves. The tether that reminds us that we are never alone, and possibility is as close as our choice to persevere.

Loving yourself teaches you how to love and how to show others the way you want to be loved. If you don’t start there, then the circuit is likely to break because you are the missing link.

Your love for you is necessary.

The love you hold for the beautiful, flawed, poetic, amazing, ethereal being that is you.

So, to my beautiful, fiery daughter…

Someone’s going to look at you one day and see the universe, its constellations, and every star yet to be in your smile. Your creativity, kindness, and intelligence will attract others, as will the love and light that is in your eyes. And yes, it is beautiful to be seen in your glory, yet what I hope will make this moment perfect is that you already know what your glory looks like.

To my handsome, hilarious son…

One day, you will have a moment where your strength, intellect, and empathetic heart will create eternity in the way someone sees you. The magnetism of your personality will shine through your smile and connect with others in bliss and possibility. And what will make this moment epic is that you know eternity is already yours to command.

The best gift I can ever give to the two most important people on this Earth to me is the desire to love themselves the way they truly deserve to be loved by loving themselves that way every day.

Mommy loves you. ✨


Erica is the lead hairstylist and owner of her own salon and beauty service brand Silver Immersion, LLC. Her joy and purpose stem from highlighting the individuality of each client as the focus of the services she and her staff provide. It is her mission to remind each woman that she is a one of a kind and to embrace standing fully in her own sun. Erica’s personal and professional life intersect with her beliefs in embracing diversity and individuality, supporting others, and growing understanding through connection and self-acceptance.

When she puts on her other superhero cape, Erica is a mom of two who loves yoga, experimenting with nutrition, listening to audiobooks, and she is addicted to laughs! You can find her on InstagramFacebook, and Pinterest.

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