To My Children- This Is Why I Want You To Love You More - BY Erica Cote for MotherHustle
“Loving yourself teaches you how to love and how to show others the way you want to be loved. If you don’t start there, then the circuit is likely to break because you are the missing link.”

One day my son told me he loved me the most in the world. And I told him that I wanted him to love himself the most. Because you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else.

So, as children like to repeat back at random times to let you know they’re listening, one day he apologized to me because he loved me, but he loved himself more.

And I couldn’t have been more proud.

Too often we look for validation and solutions in the words and actions of others. And love is the ultimate hiding place when the world gets too tough. But what happens when life happens?

Relationships don’t work out. Loved ones pass away. Friendships go through growing pains. And as these things happen, we all fight to maintain that part of ourselves that we opened up to the vulnerability of connecting with another. Because connection absolutely requires vulnerability.

But when we endure loss, we must not lose ourselves permanently in the process.

This is why self-love is our anchor to ourselves. The tether that reminds us that we are never alone, and possibility is as close as our choice to persevere.

Loving yourself teaches you how to love and how to show others the way you want to be loved. If you don’t start there, then the circuit is likely to break because you are the missing link.

Your love for you is necessary.

The love you hold for the beautiful, flawed, poetic, amazing, ethereal being that is you.

So, to my beautiful, fiery daughter…

Someone’s going to look at you one day and see the universe, its constellations, and every star yet to be in your smile. Your creativity, kindness, and intelligence will attract others, as will the love and light that is in your eyes. And yes, it is beautiful to be seen in your glory, yet what I hope will make this moment perfect is that you already know what your glory looks like.

To my handsome, hilarious son…

One day, you will have a moment where your strength, intellect, and empathetic heart will create eternity in the way someone sees you. The magnetism of your personality will shine through your smile and connect with others in bliss and possibility. And what will make this moment epic is that you know eternity is already yours to command.

The best gift I can ever give to the two most important people on this Earth to me is the desire to love themselves the way they truly deserve to be loved by loving themselves that way every day.

Mommy loves you. ✨


MotherHustle Panelist Erica Cote is an entrepreneur, coach, consultant, writer, and speaker who helps people connect through conversations that challenging female business leaders to be the change they want to see. By voting with their dollars, supporting other female owned or oriented businesses, and hiring from a place of support across racial and cultural lines, change happens. When she’s not coaching and supporting her clients, you can find her writing poetry or cuddled up with her two little ones. You can find her on Instagram at Erica Courdae and Silver Immersion, LLC.

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