I’d be willing to bet that most of you had someone early on in your career condescendingly comment on the “bright-eyed and bushy tailed” energy you brought to your job. When I pause to recount my early days in the workforce, I can best sum up my feelings as invincible with a side of hustle (without ease) to prove that I was worth my salt.
Deep down inside, I was seeking approval and acceptance. What I didn’t understand in those early days was that the constant seeking led to being someone I wasn’t.
Fast forward six years and with love came marriage and our first baby in the baby carriage. During my pregnancy with my first little, I had it all worked out in my mind. How he would act, how much of a natural I’d be, and how efficient I’d continue to be at working my business while juggling motherhood.
Leave it to motherhood to break me so sweetly and for a 6lb 8oz slice of heaven to rock my world. Instead, I found myself four months postpartum, with an endless supply of tears, seriously questioning how I was going to survive this new chapter and desperately trying to continue to be the “invincible” Kathy I prided myself on before.
The businesswoman ambition turned into survival. The high and mighty false self-esteem turned into humility as I accepted things for what they were.
A grace that said, “despite my imperfections, shortcomings, and overall lack – I am enough and this is the road God had planned for me all along for my good.”
I’ve heard, read, and been told several times over the years that there’s a “reason for the season” and to not be in such a rush to get out of it. Almost three years later (and with lots of healed bumps and bruises), it is so clear that those feelings of inadequacy were actually building up a mighty leader, a more focused business owner, a more grace-filled spouse, a more loyal friend, and best of all — a more sincere version of myself. With the “reason for the season” comes an absolute need to redefine priorities, goals, and the long-term outcome we’re after.
I love that in this season, as baby #2 is cooking and due later on this fall, I wear my scars of early motherhood as my badge of honor, and know that however rocky, uncertain, and stretching the new season may feel, pure gold is sure to follow.
MotherHustle panelist Kathy Dixon is the founder and creative director of Oh Yes Communications. It won’t take you long to discover her love for her wild toddler, Air Force hubby, and her heart for Jesus. When she’s not buzzing around town, she’s usually at the gym lifting heavy things — although these days, it looks more like (not so) patiently waiting for her second son to arrive (due mid-September!).
Kathy says: “This entrepreneur journey has been something special. I have yet to hear someone’s story that hasn’t inspired me in someway. It’s the reason why I dodge small talk. I know first hand what the power of encouragement and sharing your story can do and it’s why I always push my clients to be bold with theirs.” Find her and Oh Yes on Instagram.
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