I’m fresh back from maternity leave and the theme of ADVENTURE is a timely topic to be coming back to. Adjusting to a new human being has been an adventure — along with the changing family dynamics and additional logistics that are still finding their place in our day-to-day.
Before now, adventure always seemed like a reckless jumping in and speeding up … but what if my adventure this year involved slowing down?
During the final months of my pregnancy last summer, I kept feeling that God was preparing me for a season of slow. I didn’t put much weight on these feelings because my maternity leave was right around the corner, which would be a natural slowing down.
But as my leave passed by, the feeling of a “season of slow” persisted and I begrudgingly came to the realization that perhaps my season of slow was going to extend beyond my initial 3-month postpartum plan.
Over the years, this nudging to my spirit has been a test of obedience to lean in, be still, and tune my ear and heart to the whispers being spoken over me.
Having Zane was life-giving and healing to my mama heart, but it also instantly made my 3-year-old seem like a very big boy. Wasn’t he just asleep on my chest and safe in my arms just a few months earlier? Now, my new 7lb 7oz slice of heaven, among other things, conjured up visions of my first little marching off to kindergarten a short 18-months away and BOOM college. (Okay, that might be a bit dramatic, but #postpartumhormones).
All of a sudden, my deep love of my 9 to 5 paled in comparison to the yearning of being mama first. Savoring each little moment — because babies don’t keep y’all.
Feelings of guilt washed over me as I vocalized that my heart was more in mothering than my business right now. I’ve coached so many into understanding that feelings don’t have to be polarized, and this was no exception. Fear and excitement and confusion and clarity were living side by side.
But when God speaks there’s no denying it, and in this season He made it clear that He wanted me to pour into these sweet little hearts FIRST while also running a growing business SECOND.
After a good cry and a nonsensical venting session on my bed that ended with me telling my husband that I didn’t want solutions and just needed a good pair of listening ears — it was time to dry those tears and make some decisions.
The fears always abound when it’s time to act. Surely the ease of whipping up a marketing plan or creating a brand from scratch would dull the insecurities of feeling grossly unqualified in leading these little spirits with patience and grace.
Nope. But in there lies the point. The easy things rarely help us grow.
So here’s where I am: very much still in process and as of February 1st, rearranging my big littles school schedule from full-time to part-time to spend more undistracted time with him.
For the first time (ever) in my adult life, a whole two days of my “work week” will be dedicated 100% to my boys and the adventures of mothering – which for me, feels like a big deal.
The task at hand is to figure out how to fit a full-time workload into 15-20 hours of work a week, all while opportunities seem to be rolling in from left and right.
So to the mama out there in a similar boat as me, may I offer some words of encouragement:
Instead, this season calls for steady, focused and intentional growth. After all, we started our businesses to support our lifestyles and not the other way around — and Lord knows this life is full of twists and turns.
Alright adventure, we’ve got this.
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