Progress has visited my mommy genes and I hope it stays nearby.
I definitely wasn’t raised in a progressive or thoughtful kind of way. It felt very old school. Very much like the be seen and not heard methods of yesteryear. There were parts that were unfiltered, but they weren’t for my benefit. They came from a place of struggle to marry the idea of being a parent and still being an individual. And that’s a tough balance to keep. No one wants to always be the parent with no boundaries, but too many aren’t healthy either.
So when it became my turn, the best I could do was to find my way with no map or compass. And no idea of what I wanted everything to look like except that I wanted to do things differently and more in alignment with who I am.
And it’s constantly evolving, as I am and as my kids become more of who they are every day. Moving in alignment with my personal ethics and the values I instill in my children are the constants. They just look a little different with time.
So when they were little and they had a squabble with a friend, it was simple things like reminders to play nice and be considerate of others. As they’re getting older, that same scenario would include discussing choices and intention. Acknowledging the challenge now means to create awareness of who and how we are to move forward in a positive and expansive way. Both are to help them be better, it just looks a little different in execution.
As I move toward refining my beliefs and ways I think and feel, my actions shift to support myself and my parenting style. And I know it’ll continue to happen because I’m not done moving through my evolutions.
And neither are my kids. So I guess we’re all growing up together as we move through this thing called life.
That’s cool with me.
MotherHustle Panelist Erica Cote is an entrepreneur, coach, consultant, writer, and speaker who helps people connect through conversations that challenging female business leaders to be the change they want to see. By voting with their dollars, supporting other female owned or oriented businesses, and hiring from a place of support across racial and cultural lines, change happens. When she’s not coaching and supporting her clients, you can find her writing poetry or cuddled up with her two little ones. You can find her at Erica Courdae and Silver Immersion, LLC.
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