There are many things I’ve identified wrongly; that I’ve confused with another. And most of them? Most of them were moments of learning that I identified wrongly as mistakes — and therefore, tried to avoid.
I tried to memorize What To Expect When You’re Expecting, so afraid that I would forget the one tiny detail that would keep my newborn safe/intelligent/alive/loving me. Each and every fact laid out in those pages felt like a weight on my shoulders, a burden that I must carry with me in order to be a “good” mom.
Because I was terrified. I was terrified that any small mishap would prove that I wasn’t worthy of caring for this new, helpless little life. That I was a fraud. That it was a mistake that the universe allowed me to become a mom after all.
I followed the instructions of online gurus to a T. Blog three times a week? Done; regardless of how tired I was, how spent my brain felt, how insignificant and random that number really was. Embrace Google+, or any random social platform really? Done; regardless of how much I hated it. Read #allthethings. Done; even though lots of it bored me to tears.
Because I felt like someone was watching. Judging. Waiting for me to fail. To misstep. To make a mistake. When in reality, the only person doing that to me … was ME.
Now that my babies are children — a 7-year-old and a 5-year-old human, and a 4-year-old business — I can honestly say that I’m no longer afraid of making mistakes. I no longer feel the burden of those rules, the gaze of those unforgiving eyes. Because I’ve faltered, and I’ve survived.
I’ve seen my children fall and bruise and get back up again.
I’ve seen my business fall and bruise and get back up again.
And I’ve helped them all recover, get stronger, gain confidence.
By trusting yourself, and your instincts, and your smarts, and your capabilities, you are choosing the direction of your life and your business. And therefore, you are choosing the mistakes on that path. You are willing to identify wrongly or confuse with another the next step on that path, because you trust that you are heading in the right direction regardless.
So mamas, this month on MotherHustle we’re going to be exploring the misteps on your paths. We’re going to be talking all about MISTAKES — the good, the bad and the ugly — and we want to know:
Some things we will be exploring …
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