Everyone experiences moments of doubt. And as a byproduct of fear, we typically see doubt as a deterrent to being the best version of ourselves. It certainly can be, but here’s my unpopular opinion:
I’ll be the first to admit that I doubt myself pretty often. Whether it’s my ability to sign on a new client or to simply cook a new dish perfectly (sans recipe), feeling uncertain about my skills or abilities has been a common occurrence for me. That is until I became a mom.
Being a mother is one of the most important jobs I’ll ever have, and at times I feel uncertain about my ability to do it well. At the same time, I’m confronted with judgments and unwarranted advice about how I choose to parent. I’ve had to combat off-handed remarks when my depleting milk supply forced me to supplement with formula. I’ve dodged disparaging looks while shopping alone and my toddler is testing his vocal range and my infant just can’t be soothed. And I’ve had to gracefully decline well-intended advice on how I choose to discipline my children.
In fact, I’ve never been more sure of myself than I am being a mom. Motherhood has forced me to embrace the fear that I’m doing it all wrong, and learn how to trust myself in spite of it. Because I know that each day — despite the doubts and the doubters — I offer my absolute best to my children, and they are happy, healthy, and loved.
Here’s what I’ve learned: As long as I’m taking risks, pursuing big dreams, and even taking on the grand responsibility of raising other humans, I will have doubts. I had to realize that doubt typically comes from a place of fear and not my inadequacies. So instead of seeing doubt as a deterrent, I take it as a sign that I’m operating outside of my comfort zone, and it’s natural to question myself once I veer from what’s normal and familiar.
So if you choose to adopt this approach and begin embracing your doubts, understand that doing so isn’t always easy. And that’s okay. The wise Mary Anne Radmacher once said: “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.”
I don’t always conquer my doubts instantaneously. Sometimes I spend days wallowing in self-doubt and uncertainty. But eventually, I decide to give myself grace to evaluate my thoughts, understand the root of my doubt, and equip myself to go at it another day.
This isn’t to say that I no longer experience doubts. As I mentioned before, they will continue to creep in as long as I test and stretch my boundaries. Instead, I’ve learned to turn these moments of doubt into moments of realization that help me reclaim my value in the face of uncertainty. And I attribute this newfound superpower to being a mom because I know that, among all the doubts, guilt and downright craziness that comes with motherhood, I am capable, I am worthy, and I am giving my best — even on my worst days.
MotherHustle Panelist Latoya Torrance is the founder and chief content marketer at Endear Content. A writer at heart, Latoya crafts inspiring content to help small businesses grow their brand online. When she’s not working, you can find her obsessing over her two boys, binge-watching The Office or scarfing down pizza. Find and follow her on Instagram at EndearContent and LatoyaJames_.
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