“Motherhood has forced me to embrace the fear that I’m doing it all wrong, and learn how to trust myself in spite of it.”

Everyone experiences moments of doubt. And as a byproduct of fear, we typically see doubt as a deterrent to being the best version of ourselves. It certainly can be, but here’s my unpopular opinion:

These moments when we’re consumed with doubt and uncertainty are actually opportunities to reclaim our power and reaffirm our worth.

I’ll be the first to admit that I doubt myself pretty often. Whether it’s my ability to sign on a new client or to simply cook a new dish perfectly (sans recipe), feeling uncertain about my skills or abilities has been a common occurrence for me. That is until I became a mom.

Understandably, I had some doubts entering motherhood. I still do.

Being a mother is one of the most important jobs I’ll ever have, and at times I feel uncertain about my ability to do it well. At the same time, I’m confronted with judgments and unwarranted advice about how I choose to parent. I’ve had to combat off-handed remarks when my depleting milk supply forced me to supplement with formula. I’ve dodged disparaging looks while shopping alone and my toddler is testing his vocal range and my infant just can’t be soothed. And I’ve had to gracefully decline well-intended advice on how I choose to discipline my children.

But as a result, I’ve developed an indestructible belief in my “momming” abilities that even the snarkiest comment couldn’t threaten.

In fact, I’ve never been more sure of myself than I am being a mom. Motherhood has forced me to embrace the fear that I’m doing it all wrong, and learn how to trust myself in spite of it. Because I know that each day — despite the doubts and the doubters — I offer my absolute best to my children, and they are happy, healthy, and loved.

My approach to embracing doubts in my motherhood journey has been instrumental in other areas, too.

Here’s what I’ve learned: As long as I’m taking risks, pursuing big dreams, and even taking on the grand responsibility of raising other humans, I will have doubts. I had to realize that doubt typically comes from a place of fear and not my inadequacies. So instead of seeing doubt as a deterrent, I take it as a sign that I’m operating outside of my comfort zone, and it’s natural to question myself once I veer from what’s normal and familiar.

So if you choose to adopt this approach and begin embracing your doubts, understand that doing so isn’t always easy. And that’s okay. The wise Mary Anne Radmacher once said: “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.”

I don’t always conquer my doubts instantaneously. Sometimes I spend days wallowing in self-doubt and uncertainty. But eventually, I decide to give myself grace to evaluate my thoughts, understand the root of my doubt, and equip myself to go at it another day.

Here’s how I work through doubts when they arise:

  • I reflect on my past accomplishments, the moments of doubt that preceded them, and how I overcame. For example, as a fairly new entrepreneur, I often doubt my ability to meet a client’s expectations. Instead of allowing the doubt to paralyze me, I lean into it and use it as an opportunity to reaffirm my skills and value.
  • I  interrupt the inner monologue saying that “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t do X,” and use verbal affirmations to reclaim my power. That usually involves me staring intently in the mirror and reciting phrases like “I am capable” or “I have everything I need to be successful.”
  • I rely on my faith and go-to scriptures for added inspiration. Reading one of my favorite scriptures, 2 Timothy 1:7, instantly gives me the boost I need to regroup and work through any doubts.

This isn’t to say that I no longer experience doubts. As I mentioned before, they will continue to creep in as long as I test and stretch my boundaries. Instead, I’ve learned to turn these moments of doubt into moments of realization that help me reclaim my value in the face of uncertainty. And I attribute this newfound superpower to being a mom because I know that, among all the doubts, guilt and downright craziness that comes with motherhood, I am capable, I am worthy, and I am giving my best — even on my worst days.

MotherHustle Panelist Latoya Torrance is the founder and chief content marketer at Endear Content. A writer at heart, Latoya crafts inspiring content to help small businesses grow their brand online. When she’s not working, you can find her obsessing over her two boys, binge-watching The Office or scarfing down pizza. Find and follow her on Instagram at EndearContent and LatoyaJames_.


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